On Sunday the pump connected to our water tank malfunctioned … and by malfunctioned I mean gave up the ghost, kicked the bucket and succumbed to … something.
Water tanks became compulsory when building a house around a decade ago … due to an appalling lack of water in our dams. Council now requires that all new homes have a water tank connected to the house … so we can harvest our rain water to be used to flush our toilets, water our gardens and wash our clothes.
This is all fantabulous in theory … but when something goes wrong with the pump … which happens with tedious regularity … or we have a black out … we are suddenly and rudely thrust into living conditions that one usually only expects in a third world country.
By that I mean we no longer have the ability to cleanse our conveniences … purge our potty ... launder our lavatory … we can't flush the flippin toilet!!
Now because we are generally lazy folk … and we don't like the idea of transporting buckets of water to the bathroom every time we use it … getting the pump fixed becomes a matter of some urgency.
And so it was that the Pumpy Fix It Man … whose number I have on speed dial by now … was summoned with haste.
He always arrives promptly … with a jovial demeanour … and smiles at you cheerfully whilst telling you that your pump has clearly pumped its last dump … and must be replaced immediately if you are at all interested in personal hygiene and general commode cleanliness. Something I am most interested in.
Then he tells you it costs $1000 dollars … or $800 if you'd like to pay cash … which of course you are almost certainly … NOT … going to have lying around the house … just in case. To soften the blow he kindly informs you that it comes with a twelve month warranty … which we both know is code for "he will be back here replacing it again in precisely 12 months and 1 day".
But what choice does a person have … when their crapper is full of … crap?
None at all … but to get ones self to the nearest ATM and withdraw the next couple of months worth of grocery money … and flush it straight down the john!!!